Don’t Waste It.

Coming to Guam, I thought that something would click and I would suddenly be more godly; that something would happen and it would be easy for me to do devotions and really seek out God’s will for my life.  But while my scenery and schedule did change dramatically, my issues have stayed the same.  Why did I think that traveling halfway around the world would make me a better Christian?

I’ve been hit with a lot of doubts about why I’m here and what I should be doing.  It’s easy to spend every day hanging out instead of being productive, putting off that time when I’m really going to buckle down and get serious about me and God.  If anything since I’ve gotten here I have become more confused about the direction I’m headed, sometimes I think I need to be in the rehab program just as much as some of the ladies I’m working with.  There is so much ugliness in my heart and mind that needs to be dug out.  I think I need major reconstructive surgery of the heart to get me looking even remotely Christ-like.

The thing I have to remind myself is, don’t waste it.  God gave me 6 months in this beautiful place away from the craziness of banking and college.  He paved the way for me to be here and allowed me to take this time that I said I needed to correct these things that have slowly gone downhill in my life.  If I spend 6 months here and go home with the exact same issues, never having taken the time to work through these things, I will have wasted the time.

I brought two books with me: the Bible and Richard J. Foster’s Celebration of Discipline.  It was a last minute grab, but one of my favorite books because it walks you through spiritual disciplines, starting with inward ones, then outward and corporate.  I need to re-walk through that book and get to work on disciplining my life and lining my mind up with Christ.

Enough blogging… I’m going to get started.


6 thoughts on “Don’t Waste It.

  1. We should remember that things don’t happen right when we want them to. Everything happens or doesn’t happen according to God’s will. Remember the wait the Israelites had in coming to the Promised land? It was years. It helps to think that time is nothing more than a human creation and God doesn’t work on a clock.

  2. We are learning the value the Lord puts on our lives and spirituality is in the journey and the process even more than the sense of being good enough or somehow spiritual enough. We look more like Christ as we peer deep into His eyes and allow Him to peer into ours. Even though we know some of the kind of crud we have inside, listening to His voice causes our soul to live. And as we respond to the words of love he speaks to us, things deep inside us begin to change. We start to conform to what He speaks to us. We are drawn by His love. He loves to hear our heart as we speak to Him too, even the questions and the struggles, sharing our pain and our problems. And there is always more…

  3. Have you ever checked out Ann Voskamp’s blog, God has used it to totally transform my life. I too have lately felt the desire for wanting to make the most of my time, yet having little motivation, just a ‘knowledge of the need’. A recent transformation and seemingly burst of growth in my relationship with God and DESIRE for a relationship has sprung from the things I’ve learned from reading her book (One Thousand Gifts) and her blog. I SO recommend checking them both out!
    Oh, and I LOVE hearing of your amazing adventures! I feel like I’m getting away a little myself hearing of your world travels!

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