It is enough.

“I need no other argument,
I need no other plea.
It is enough that Jesus died
and that He died for me.”

Something my mother said struck me the other day.  We were chatting on Facebook and she told me that this experience seems to really be expanding me, which is totally true but not mostly because of culture difference.  I feel expanded more because of living with my brother, being away from my normal support system and being faced with different issues at work than I ever have before.

To my mom I said that I think I had needed some expansion in my life and the thing that stuck with me was her reply.  She said that there are seasons in your life, sometimes your views need expanding and sometimes they don’t and God takes care of it.  That rung true in my heart because I recognize the seasons God has brought me through thus far and how he has both broken down and built up my life at different stages.  The one thing that I appreciate the most about Christianity is that God is alive and working.  It would be such a terrifying thing to serve a dead god.

My life verse is Jeremiah 31:28 which says, “As I have watched over them to pluck up, to break down, to overthrow, to destroy and to bring disaster, so I will watch over them to build and to plant,” declares the Lord.”  (ESV)  The visual that I have always drawn is of myself stacking blocks on top of each other; I have a block for the man I want to marry, a block for the job I want, a block for the timeline that I believe my life should take.. and God has this tendency to say, “No, I want to give these things to you.” and he knocks my blocks down across the room.   He tears my life apart so there is a clear space for him to build his own structure.  It is a loving meanness.

I have a hard time keeping my mind wrapped around both the temporal and the eternal simultaneously.  I’ll have moments that I can firmly turn my gaze heavenward and other moments that I won’t look up because my feet are stuck down so far in the mud of the world, but I always try to center my heart on Jesus.  He is easy to relate to because he stood in this mud.  When I’m confused and Christianity seems ridiculously complicated and I have no idea what God wants me to do, I try to clear my mind and remember that Jesus died for me.  Everything else is secondary.  Even if I miss God’s absolute best for me, even if I shouldn’t have spent that money, even if I don’t get that scholarship.. it is ENOUGH that he died and that it was for me.  That is enough to give me peace and let me rest, however the rest of my life turns out.

I feel like I’ve rambled.  Sorry about that.

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