I’m laying in bed trying to slow my breathing and clear my mind.
This is the new norm, I can’t seem to fall asleep before 2am anymore.
My eyes fly open. That was my phone announcing a notification, and I know I’ll just lay here wondering what it is so I might as well check it. The clock says 12:24am and I sigh, I’ve been laying in the dark since 11:15.
When I open up the email I’m already smiling to see that it’s from Kezia, my friend who lives as a missionary in Brazil with her family. We attended discipleship school together at MMR in 2005 and kept up our friendship through occasional visits, letters and email. Earlier today I sent her a long overdue reply, telling her about Guam and the struggles that I’ve gone through since being here.
Ah, Beth, thank you so much. your e-mail was a balm to my soul. Isn’t it wonderful that the Lord knows just what we need, before we know it ourselves? It is just like the quote at the end of your e-mail. “We are saved–as a group; praying together, correcting one another, forgiving one another, stumbling along after Jesus together, memorizing the moves until his way has become our way.”
Kezia is the most beautiful and honest woman I know. She goes on here to share her own struggles and how my email had encouraged her to realize that she needed to repent before God for the sin that had unknowingly crept into her heart.
Tears are still in my eyes from reading your heart ache, but the tears are a mixture of knowing what you are going through and a aching joy at your courage for living the truth. Oh, Beth, I needed to hear that. I needed to see someone standing alone because of what they believe. I needed to see your humility and dedication. I wish that I could fly to Guam and we could have a nice long chat and just be together in silence soaking in all that beautiful scenery down there.
Oh my word, Kez. You have me bawling like a baby in my room at 12:30am because you are so sweet and I don’t know how I’m lucky enough to have such a darling friend. Isn’t she the best? I pray that you all have a friend as dear to your heart as Kezia is to mine.