Last night he finally asked me the question that I’ve been waiting for him to ask me for years.
It had been a long day of driving home from visiting my sister in NY and I was stopping by his house for a short visit and supper before I kept going. I was wearing sweatpants. I hadn’t showered. I smelled like fast food.. but it was perfect.
First of all, there were definitely signs. He had like 10 candles lit, he turned the TV off when I came in, he was shaking when he hugged me.. I totally should have picked up on something. But like I said, I had just driven 5 hours and I was feeling a little scruffy and it never entered my mind.
He said that he bought me something and handed me a pile of new workout clothes which was super exciting since I’ve been actually going to the gym every morning. I was completely touched and looking at each piece of clothing when something fell out onto the floor and he stooped to pick it up.
Then all of a sudden I forgot that I was holding workout clothes and that my hair was a wreck, because he was kneeling and it was a ring box and all of a sudden he was talking to me and I was crying. It went from casual to romantic in the blink of an eye because suddenly we were sitting in our future home surrounded by candlelight and he was slipping a ring on my finger. Totally surreal.
The thing is that I’ve had this planned out so many times, I knew what the timing should be if we wanted to move forward and I had talked to people about locations and dresses and everything. I had a job close to him lined up and I was moving in with a friend but he still hadn’t asked me and I was so frustrated. Why wouldn’t he just ask me? Didn’t he really want to marry me after all? How was everybody going to think of him since I had already pretty much planned a bunch of stuff but he wasn’t moving on his end of the deal?
He put me in my place and said, “Beth, this is my job. Just stop planning and let me do it.”
So for the past few weeks I did. I stopped planning and worrying and I just let him do his job. Just that morning in NY I had been walking around this beautiful lake trail and talking to my sister about my future and I said that I am very confident in who I am, who Jason is and that we are good for each other and going to pursue God’s best for our lives together. Then just a few hours later he finally asked the question and I said yes and we sat there for a long time just taking in the moment.
When I stop planning God starts moving.
I’m rewarded for trust and obedience, not for pushing my own agenda.
And I’m engaged!!