Tomorrow marks two weeks of Nyhartdom.
I have quite a few friends and acquaintences who are brides-to-be and something just struck me that I’d like to share with you if you can overlook my lack of experience in the wifehood department.
Planning a wedding can be crazy fun and exciting, I loved different parts of it especially when I got to collaborate with friends and things were going together smoothly. But it can also be stressful and hurtful and it can strain relationships and cause you to reveal parts of your heart that you would have rather kept hidden. Our sin nature sneaks out and rears it’s ugly head, especially when planning this day that the world has trained us to believe is supposed to be perfect, the biggest day of our lives and exactly the way we have always dreamed, OR ELSE.
At this point in our marriage we are both still just ecstatic that we get to see each other every day, so I’m sure there are many other stages ahead, but what I was realizing tonight is that having a husband is like, 20k% better than having a perfect wedding. Pinterest makes all these things look so romantic but in reality your love for each other makes it romantic regardless of what actually happens. When Jason smiles at me I feel it the whole way down to my toes and that didn’t happen because our place cards were displayed in the coolest little way or we had the best and most unique idea for a venue. It feels like what I would imagine childbirth is like with the months of preparation and hours of labor that result in a beautiful baby and a lifetime of relationship to build ahead of you. Marriage seems like that to me. Months of planning, hours of craziness and now a completely different outlook on life and a future that has every potential in the world.
So if I can give you a word of advice: don’t care more about the day your marriage starts as you do about the forever part. Maybe everybody says this and I’m just re-hashing. I understand that it is hard to comprehend and that it is frustrating to think about when you aren’t there yet. I guess I just want to say that the wedding day comes and then it goes, some things get done and others don’t, and really you won’t remember unless you are completely way too obsessed about it to begin with. When you are planning, do the things that make you happy and excited, do the things that are necessary, but when it comes to the things that get you stressed out or mean just forget about them!
I’m planning on bringing that over into our marriage as well. My brother asked if we’ve fought yet and I was like.. yeah. But we’ve been fighting and forgiving for years. We are both very good forgivers. Fighting is no big deal in our marriage because it is already a practiced fact that it gets resolved and our relationship is restored and our love is re-stated and re-affirmed before we move on. Even just today a fight ended in, “Just trust me, Beth. Will you trust me?”
Yeah, I will. With my heart and my mind and my life.
Anyway. That was my thought. 🙂