victory o’er the grave

One of my friends is sick.

It is hard to talk about because I feel like it isn’t my place, it isn’t my story or even my right to be hurting.  I’m not the one spending every day watching her get sicker and I’m not even the one who spent a ton of time with her when she was healthy.  I’m just a friend, I married someone that her family invested a lot into, when I was younger she and her husband had a great impact in my life, and we visit and talk and over the years I’ve grown to look up to her so much.  And now she is sick.

It makes me mad when people ask me for updates on her condition because I want to tell them that if they really cared they would call her or visit her themselves, but I know that people just don’t know how to react.  They want to help in whatever way they can and they don’t feel comfortable or they don’t want to crowd her.  I would probably feel the same way if we weren’t already visiting them consistently before it got bad.  But now I just want to fight them off and say that she isn’t a freak show, she isn’t some random name on a list of sick people that get announced at church.  She is beautiful and vibrant and this sickness is robbing her and her family.

I know there are so many people closer than me who are hurting more and who loved her longer and knew her better.  I’m bracing for what is going to come, getting ready to help Jason deal with the loss.

Sometimes it feels like there is no victory over death at all.

Let me see redemption win,
Let me know the struggle ends..

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