Welp.. life just doesn’t let up. We are trying to get our taxes done, trying to pay the same amount of bills with less money, trying to decide if we are moving closer to family or staying put. All of these things while I am as sick as a dog and dealing with a pinched nerve in my back that makes every day a literal pain in the butt.
The nausea is going away and I am eating real food again, but when it was in full swing I had lost 15 lbs and was eating nothing but ice pops. Now I think that the back pain makes me feel sick more than actual pregnancy nausea, but I’ll periodically feel like hurling. The big problem is that I am terrified of throwing up now because that is how I hurt my back; did you know that it is common to throw your back out when sneezing or vomiting? I had no idea until I got sick one morning and spent the next hour in bed unable to move. Jason has been my knight in shining armor, seriously. I don’t know what I would do without him.
We had all but decided that we were moving closer to family and friends before the baby came, but when Jason told his boss that we were planning to move he asked, “What do we need to pay you to keep you here?” Which is amazing, but also puts us in a conundrum.. well, it puts me into a conundrum because I was a little excited to move back to where I grew up but Jason really likes his job and wants to stay if we can swing it. Besides, whose boss offers that? I feel like God could be making us able to stay here and I may need to get over the hour that separates us from my family.
I have piles of stuff to do but no energy to do it. I feel like it takes everything I’ve got to make it through the work day without having a mental breakdown and then when I get home I don’t even see the mess. I go to bed so early that Jason looks at me like I have two heads and still wake up exhausted. This baby isn’t even here yet, how am I going to deal with a real child 24/7?? I’m a mess!
I miss having girlfriends, sitting around chatting about God and life, feeling like I fit somewhere. Maybe it’ll happen, maybe I just haven’t found the right group of friends yet, but I used to thrive on deep meaningful conversations and even though I love my husband to death, he can’t do that for me on a regular basis.
Tired, a little lonely, stressed out and getting pregnant-er every day..